I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
