I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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