A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
