Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
