We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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