My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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