I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
