How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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