dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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