My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
