ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
