She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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