a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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