what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
