If you die in college, do you die in real life?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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