i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
