This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize