I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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