Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
