I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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