Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
