Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
