i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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