We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
