I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
