How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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