Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
