If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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