He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
