he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
this boner is exhausting
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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