So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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