I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
