i jhust puked up my retainher.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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