am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
