I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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