No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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