He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize