Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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