tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
