No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
