school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
