she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
When did angry sex become our thing?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Randomize
