so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize