I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
