Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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