girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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