ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I will pee on everything he values.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
