Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
