I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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