Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
