i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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