help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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