I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
