...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
