finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
it's like heaven, but drunker
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
