If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I think I am morally bankrupt
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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