I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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