Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
