you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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