had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
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how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
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He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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