Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
